Dolly
was a very special rescue as she was the dam to my Roofus. She
was born in Czechoslovakia and was sold to the US at an auction
to an Amish puppy miller where she lived her entire four years
having puppies for people who cared nothing about her well
being. I started looking for her right after I rescued Roofus as
I wanted her to know what having a family and being loved was
all about.
In
March of 2007 she was sold again at a puppy auction but I
wasn’t fortunate enough to buy her even though I tried
contacting her owner. Dolly was bought with three other Clumbers
by a backyard breeder and lived there until June 2007 when the
person who bought them decided breeding Clumbers was more work
than she bargained for so she decided to sell them. I found out
that there were four adult Clumbers for sale and after
contacting the owner, found out one was Roofus’s dam, a sister
to her, a sire to one of the previous rescues, and a Swedish
Clumber, and ended up buying all four.
On
June 29th, my husband and son arrived home with all
four of them after picking them up in Oklahoma. I will never
forget that day as I had such a good feeling knowing that Dolly,
like Roofus, would have a chance at a “real” life. All four
of them greeted me hesitantly as they weren’t sure what was in
store for them and all had the lost look that so many rescues
have. Right away my heart went out to them as there is nothing
as heartbreaking as looking into sad, empty eyes.
The
beginning of July was spent grooming them and letting them get
adjusted to their new way of life and their new home. Each one
was taken to the vet and given an exam and all seemed healthy
with only minor problems. All were settling in and beginning to
feel comfortable with me with the exception of Dolly and I
noticed she was standoffish and not as friendly as the others.
At the time I didn’t think much of it as I assumed she just
needed more time.
By
the middle of July, all four were doing well and I was happy
with their progress. One evening I was combing and getting the
mats out of Dolly’s coat when I noticed her belly looked
awfully big, more so than usual. Having had so many litters, her
belly kind of drug the ground anyway but I couldn’t help but
notice a difference. The next day I made an appointment with the
vet and took her in. Upon examining her he felt sure she was
pregnant but wanted to do an x-ray. The x-ray showed without a
doubt that she was pregnant and after looking at the x-ray he
told me she had about a week. I asked him if we could abort the
puppies as I didn’t have any desire to put her through another
litter but the vet said she was too far along and he wouldn’t
recommend it.
The
next week was spent preparing for the arrival of her puppies
with us sleeping together in a kiddie pool and me reading to her
every night. I’d never been around a pregnant female and I
didn’t have a clue what to do or what to expect and had heard
many horror stories about Clumbers that don’t whelp naturally
so I was a bit concerned but she had spent the last four years
having puppies and having them naturally so everyone assured me
all would go well.
We
bonded that week and she was like my shadow and when I
couldn’t be with her, my daughter Krystal or my husband would
“babysit” her but according to them, she was not happy until
I returned and would sit near the door waiting and watching for
me.
The
last weekend of July came and Dolly seemed to be preparing to
“whelp” and I thought according to what everyone had told
me, it was time but the weekend came and went without any
puppies. I got concerned and called the vet and he told me to
bring her in. After examining her he told me if she hadn’t had
the puppies by the next day, he would try to induce labor and if
that didn’t work, he would do a c-section.
After
another night of no puppies, I had Dolly there as soon as they
opened and told the vet I didn’t want him to try to induce and
instead go ahead with the c-section as Dolly just didn’t seem
herself and I was worried about her. The c-section seemed to
take forever and as hard as I tried, I could not shake the
terrible feeling I had. I kept telling myself that I was just
getting worked up and that things would be fine but little did I
know that my fears would soon become reality.
I
remember very little about what happened next but I do remember
hearing that Dolly didn’t make it. The vet said she made it
through the c-section but then crashed during the spaying. He
told me there were eleven puppies, one of which was a water
puppy and was stillborn but that there were ten left. I was
completely and totally in shock as I had made a promise to Dolly
that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her and that I would
make sure she was safe, I had kept none of these promises and I
felt the weight of letting her down.
The
entire staff at the vet’s office was working trying to save
the puppies but all I cared about was taking Dolly home. She was
my main concern as she had always been, I’d never bargained
for pups and I’m ashamed to say nor did I want them. It was
Dolly who I’d rescued and had wanted to give a second chance
and I failed her. The guilt was more than I can describe and it
would take many months before the weight felt any less.
Needless to say
we brought Dolly home that day and buried her with the pup that
didn’t make it and then it was time to figure out what to do
with the others. My only excuse is that I was in shock from
losing Dolly that I couldn’t focus on the puppies and took
them to a woman in Old Fort, NC who specializes in newborns as I
felt she was their only chance. During the night she lost two
and I hardly slept that night as not only was I grieving for
Dolly, I apparently came back to my senses and realized that
Dolly would have wanted me to take care of her pups, not a
stranger.
I
can’t describe the closeness I felt to her and the deepness of
the love that grew in such a short time. Dolly was and still is
embedded in my heart. If there was one thing she knew before she
left this world, it was that she was loved. I never knew that
the time I spent with her or the things I’d done for her would
be the last things she’d ever know.
I
am thankful that we had the time together that we had and that
she didn’t have to die alone or surrounded by people who cared
nothing about her but only about the money she could make them
by having puppies. She came to me with sad, dull eyes and I was
happily waiting on the day that the twinkle would be rekindled
as I knew from past experience that anything is possible with
time, effort, patience and love.
She
was transformed the last week of her life, she was so happy and
carefree and although I will never know what went wrong or was
it indeed something I did or didn’t do, in my heart I know
that I tried my best and that no one felt or feels the loss of
her like I do. There’s not a single day that goes by that I
don’t think of her or miss her but I have the memories of that
week, a week that was spent with a Clumber named Dolly, a true
Clumber angel!

In
memory of Sugar Doll (Dolly) Surama Z Rajslu
February 3, 2003 – August 1, 2007
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